Should you be the first call before a babysitter?
The right of first refusal is a clause in a parenting arrangement that gives you first option to mind the children before a babysitter is called. It can be lovely in theory, but it carries a sting in the tail.
Somewhere in the early conversations about a parenting plan, someone might mention the right of first refusal. It's a simple idea. If you can't have the children during your parenting time, you offer the other parent the first chance to have them before you call a babysitter or ask your mum. They get the first option, and only if they say no do you make other arrangements. It is borrowed from American custody law and not that common in Australian plans, but you can absolutely write it in if you both agree.
On paper it sounds good. More time with the kids for whoever is free, fewer evenings where your child is with someone who isn't a parent, and if one of you has limited time, a way to protect every hour.
There are everyday drawbacks too. A clause that sends every calendar clash through your ex first can turn a quick favour into a negotiation, and it can unsettle a child who was happily staying put, now bundled across town because the rule said so.
The sharper edge shows up when the longer-term picture isn't settled yet. A clause that keeps the children moving between you also keeps a quiet record of how it goes. Every time you are the one who can't take them is a moment that can be noted and lined up later: Here is the list of all the times work came before the kids. Whilst you are cooperating, none of that bites. The day you stop, the same clause becomes a way to build a tally against you.
Which is the real question, more than whether the clause is good to include: can the two of you cooperate yet? A parenting plan runs on goodwill rather than a court enforcing it, so a clause like this only ever works as well as the two of you do. If you can talk things through without it turning into a fight, offering each other first call is a kind thing to do, and the record takes care of itself. If every exchange is still tense, the less your day-to-day stays interlinked the better, and this is a clause to leave out.
If you do want it, the trick is not to make it blanket. Tie it to the situations that matter most, like an overnight or a full day, and add a sensible notice window so nobody is making frantic calls twenty minutes before they need to leave.
It is worth raising with whoever is helping you put your plan together, even just to decide you do not want or need it. Knowing the option exists beats finding out about it later and wishing you had thought it through.